Kayak 3000
Blackwater
Paddlers:
We understand he had also got a substantial amount of “magic beans” as part of the deal. After dismissing the Allan, we drove to the Blackwater. This started with a lovely grade four rapid, much enjoyed by Hamlet Junior, Graham (damn I’ve found my deck etc), Tony (cold but holding up) and Chaz (the “bucket” warrior). Another Hamlet joined us for the last drop, thus missing out on the extreme air to be gained from the first drop’s rooster tail…..during which Chaz briefly joined a migratory flock of birds. It is only due to the timely intervention of a gust of wind that he isn’t wintering in the Azores.
Gavin was meditating at this stage and Yoda felt “a disturbance in the force” and went to fiddle with a tractor beam. There then followed a stretch of grade two and technical grade 3 until we entered the Gorge of the Blackwater. Banjo playing locals serenaded us as we entered, cackling wildly, and making occasional reference to livestock that we didn’t understand. The gorge started with another grade 4, with a sweet boof ledge, a snaky channel into a swirling hole at the bottom. Robin of Sherwood and the “Wrapped up like a Christmas Present” Tony went first, with Yoda, Karma and Assorted Hamlets (various flavours) providing safety (in case the boof ledge became a pencil case).
The rapid was run with consummate ease, all boofs boofed (even "the Hooded Man's" river-yacht managed it) ... and it was with much self-congratulation that the multi-layered Tony punched through the bottom hole. Sadly, whilst attempting to pin medals on his buoyancy aid and looking around for ladies of “dubious virtue” with which to celebrate his “victory over nature”, he made the ill-informed decision to capsize (on what could generously be called class 1/2 water) against a rock wall. He proceeded to flail pathetically for a time, battling the mighty class 2 current (!).
After making several increasingly sad attempts to roll off the rock wall, he decided that it was “far too cold underwater” and he would leave to find a warm bar…. and the aforementioned “ladies of dubious virtue” if available. Upon exiting in the raging (still class 1/2) water, the Eskimo-like Tony had his boat and paddle to hand. Sadly, the nearest boater was the meditating Gavin who could not be raised from his trance. Tony’s M3 then decided, “Enough was enough” and made its own way downstream. “Tree-hugger” and the now “back on this earthly plain” Gavin took off in pursuit, only managing to catch the boat (which sensed a chance for freedom and a better life) at the get out, leaving Tony to stroll the river safe in the knowledge that “his boys were on the case”. He felt much warmer.
As Gavin’s boat had been chased down the river on his last trip, and he was now the chase-boater, he pursued it safe in the knowledge that “river karma” was on his side. Meanwhile, the Assorted Hamlets (various flavours) and Chaz ran the rapid – with Chaz’s “hole bait boat” living up to its name as he was unceremoniously dragged back into its icy grip. Fortunately the migratory birds, which had now bonded with their new “bucket chum” pulled him free, and the remaining medals were distributed – although the ladies of “dubious virtue” had still not appeared and the trip progressed without them. A nice section of continuous class ¾ followed with little drama, except for the occasional airborne “bucket moment” from Kes. The team were reunited at the get-out, the natives were placated with trinkets.
Native American ceremonies were performed, as is the style. Gavin was renamed “he who has made his peace with the river”, Tony as “he who must pay more attention on the flat bits” and Graham “he who is fortunate to have a fast boat to chase with”. Yoda agreed that the balance in the force has been restored…….
- Gavin “Karma” Sheddon
- Graham “of the Forest”
- Tony “how much more clothing can I get under this dry suit” Davis
- Drew “Yoda” Milroy
- Chaz “fortes fortuna adiuvat” Hastings
- Assorted Hamlets (various flavours)
We understand he had also got a substantial amount of “magic beans” as part of the deal. After dismissing the Allan, we drove to the Blackwater. This started with a lovely grade four rapid, much enjoyed by Hamlet Junior, Graham (damn I’ve found my deck etc), Tony (cold but holding up) and Chaz (the “bucket” warrior). Another Hamlet joined us for the last drop, thus missing out on the extreme air to be gained from the first drop’s rooster tail…..during which Chaz briefly joined a migratory flock of birds. It is only due to the timely intervention of a gust of wind that he isn’t wintering in the Azores.
Gavin was meditating at this stage and Yoda felt “a disturbance in the force” and went to fiddle with a tractor beam. There then followed a stretch of grade two and technical grade 3 until we entered the Gorge of the Blackwater. Banjo playing locals serenaded us as we entered, cackling wildly, and making occasional reference to livestock that we didn’t understand. The gorge started with another grade 4, with a sweet boof ledge, a snaky channel into a swirling hole at the bottom. Robin of Sherwood and the “Wrapped up like a Christmas Present” Tony went first, with Yoda, Karma and Assorted Hamlets (various flavours) providing safety (in case the boof ledge became a pencil case).
The rapid was run with consummate ease, all boofs boofed (even "the Hooded Man's" river-yacht managed it) ... and it was with much self-congratulation that the multi-layered Tony punched through the bottom hole. Sadly, whilst attempting to pin medals on his buoyancy aid and looking around for ladies of “dubious virtue” with which to celebrate his “victory over nature”, he made the ill-informed decision to capsize (on what could generously be called class 1/2 water) against a rock wall. He proceeded to flail pathetically for a time, battling the mighty class 2 current (!).
After making several increasingly sad attempts to roll off the rock wall, he decided that it was “far too cold underwater” and he would leave to find a warm bar…. and the aforementioned “ladies of dubious virtue” if available. Upon exiting in the raging (still class 1/2) water, the Eskimo-like Tony had his boat and paddle to hand. Sadly, the nearest boater was the meditating Gavin who could not be raised from his trance. Tony’s M3 then decided, “Enough was enough” and made its own way downstream. “Tree-hugger” and the now “back on this earthly plain” Gavin took off in pursuit, only managing to catch the boat (which sensed a chance for freedom and a better life) at the get out, leaving Tony to stroll the river safe in the knowledge that “his boys were on the case”. He felt much warmer.
As Gavin’s boat had been chased down the river on his last trip, and he was now the chase-boater, he pursued it safe in the knowledge that “river karma” was on his side. Meanwhile, the Assorted Hamlets (various flavours) and Chaz ran the rapid – with Chaz’s “hole bait boat” living up to its name as he was unceremoniously dragged back into its icy grip. Fortunately the migratory birds, which had now bonded with their new “bucket chum” pulled him free, and the remaining medals were distributed – although the ladies of “dubious virtue” had still not appeared and the trip progressed without them. A nice section of continuous class ¾ followed with little drama, except for the occasional airborne “bucket moment” from Kes. The team were reunited at the get-out, the natives were placated with trinkets.
Native American ceremonies were performed, as is the style. Gavin was renamed “he who has made his peace with the river”, Tony as “he who must pay more attention on the flat bits” and Graham “he who is fortunate to have a fast boat to chase with”. Yoda agreed that the balance in the force has been restored…….
A low level run on the Blackwater
